As a life coach with ADHD, I’ve got a superpower for both overthinking and saying the most wildly inappropriate things at exactly the wrong time. But hey, it keeps things spicy, right? Except, not always. Especially in relationships. Trust me, I’ve learned the hard way that vocabulary is everything—and not just the creative cussing kind. Words matter, y’all.
Here’s the deal: words are like the tools in your emotional Home Depot. You can’t build a loving, resilient relationship with just duct tape and a sledgehammer (although, let’s admit it, those can be fun). No, you need precision instruments, and the vocabulary you use is your tool kit. Romantic relationships thrive on thoughtful communication. And no, that doesn’t mean you need to start quoting Shakespeare. But it does mean you should stop trying to use sarcasm as foreplay—not every partner finds “Oh, did you try adulting today?” sexy. Who knew?
Let’s talk about some killer phrases to keep in your relationship toolbox. Think of these as the Swiss Army knife of coupledom. They’re small but mighty—just like that one ex you keep trying to forget. Here’s how these little linguistic gems can save your butt:
1. “I’m listening.”
Not to be confused with “I’m waiting for my turn to talk.” When your partner is venting, don’t try to solve their problem, psychoanalyze their coworker, or hit them with that classic ADHD “Have you tried meditating?” (Don’t do it.) Just shut up and listen. Bonus points if you put your phone down first.
2. “I’m on my way.”
You know how you’re always late because time is a flat circle and clocks are a personal attack? This one’s for you. Text this before they have to ask where you are, and watch how it melts tension faster than butter on a hot biscuit. (You do actually have to be on your way for this one to work though.)
3. “I’ll get through it.”
Translation: “I’m stressed as hell, but I’m not gonna take it out on you.” Adulting is hard. Life is chaos. But reminding your partner that you’re resilient? Sexy as hell.
4. “I just wanted to check in with you.”
This is the verbal equivalent of sending a cute meme at random. It’s a small gesture that says, “Hey, you’re on my mind, and I care about you.” Boom. Relationship points: unlocked.
5. “I’ll take care of this, you should rest.”
If you’re with someone who takes on too much (looking at you, overachievers), this phrase is like a warm hug. Be their hero for a hot second. Handle the dishes. Order takeout. Let them nap. You’ll look like a rockstar, even if you’re just microwaving leftovers.
6. “I felt your energy the past couple of days. I’m bringing you dinner tonight.”
Here’s the thing: people want to feel seen. Noticed. Loved. This sentence says all that without you having to write a Hallmark card. (Also, if you’re the one who’s been low-energy, reverse it and say, “Hey, I’ve been off. Thank you for putting up with me.” Boom. Vulnerability. Hot.)
7. “How are you REALLY feeling?”
Skip the surface-level “How’s it going?” and get to the good stuff. Ask this when you actually have time to listen. Otherwise, don’t bother. Nobody wants to hear this as you’re halfway out the door. (Also an instance to put your phone down first.)
8. “What do you need?”
A tricky one. Sometimes the answer is “Nothing, I just want to be mad for five minutes.” Respect that. Other times, they need chocolate, a hug, or you to quit leaving your socks everywhere. Ask. Listen. Act.
9. “Tell me all about it.”
Because sharing isn’t just for toddlers. Whether it’s their work drama or that weird bird they saw on the way home, being genuinely interested in their life builds connection. Even if it’s boring. Even if you’re secretly wondering if the bird thing is a metaphor.
10. “I’m here.”
Simple, powerful, effective. When everything sucks, when they’re crying, when words fail—this is it. Hold them. Be present. No jokes, no distractions. Just you.
So there you have it: a vocabulary list that’ll make your relationship not just survive but thrive. Words have power. Use them wisely. Or, you know, just keep winging it and hope for the best—but don’t blame me when you’re single again.
Now go forth and communicate, you magnificent mess. Your partner will thank you, probably with snacks. And if they don’t? Well, you’ve got this blog post. You’re welcome.