Look, life is a circus, and you’re the star performer trying to juggle chainsaws while your ADHD brain screams, “Ooo, shiny!” Meanwhile, stress comes barreling in like an unhinged Karen demanding to speak to your manager (who, let’s be honest, is just you pretending you have your life together).

So when stress hits, and you’re about two seconds away from drop-kicking someone into the next dimension, ask yourself these three questions before you commit a felony:

1) Am I upset with the person or the problem?

Picture this: You’re in line at Starbucks, and some guy named Bryson is arguing with the barista about how his oat milk latte has too much oat in it. Meanwhile, you’re late, your email inbox is a fuller than a dumpster after Christmas, and your fight-or-flight response has chosen homicide.

But pause. Are you mad at Bryson? Or are you mad that your life currently feels like a flaming bag of dog poop? Bryson is just a symptom of your irritation. He’s an oat-loving idiot, but he’s not the root of your stress.

Before you go full WWE, take a breath and figure out where the real frustration is coming from. Maybe it’s your overbooked schedule. Maybe it’s a lack of sleep. Or maybe you just need to eat something before you become a danger to society.

2) Will this matter in a week?

Seriously. Will it? Because if it won’t, then it doesn’t deserve to take up premium real estate in your already overcrowded brain.

If you’re about to lose your mind over something small (like your partner leaving their socks in the middle of the floor again), imagine yourself seven days from now. Are you still mad? No? Then drop it. If yes, then we might be looking at a deeper issue—like the fact that their sock-dropping is a symbol of their utter disregard for your existence. But that’s another blog post.

3) What can I control right now?

Your stress is usually a reaction to feeling powerless—which, let’s be real, sucks. But even in the middle of a raging stress hurricane, you have control over something.

Can you control other people? No, unfortunately, you are not a wizard.
Can you control time? Also no. (If yes, let me know. I have some very bad life choices I’d like to undo.)
Can you control your next action? YES.

You can take a break. You can ask for help. You can step outside and scream into the void. But you can’t control everything, so stop trying before you develop an ulcer.

Final Thoughts (Or, My Attempt at Wisdom)

Life is a relentless avalanche of nonsense, and sometimes stress is unavoidable. But asking yourself these three questions can help you not spiral into a rage-fueled meltdown.

And if all else fails, there’s always deep breathing, meditation, or—let’s be honest—a well-timed snack. (Because let’s face it, half of your problems could be solved by eating before you start throwing chairs.)

Now go forth, handle your stress, and try not to get arrested.